I made a promise to myself tonight and I broke it. I guess its true ’ promises are meant to be broken.’ You can’t even keep your own promise ri. Sigh~. I tried to not be sad about it. I tried to not cry. I tried to not breakdown in front of him. He did his best when it was me who went away. Guess its my time to feel what he felt everytime I went back to Philippines. This is very sudden, a lot to take in. We’ll be fine. Night world.

Tanggap ko naman na sila ang perme una sa buhay mo, pero hanggang kailan? Isipin mo naman ang pakiramdam ko. Kapag sinabi ko sayo na mas mahal mo ang mga kaibigan mo kaysa ako, sabi mo hindi naman yun totoo ee. Pero ilang beses na ko patunayan yan. Kailangan kita kagabi pero mas inuhan mo pa ang mga kaibigan mo. Ano ba dapat ang reaction ko? Edi mag sabi na ‘its okay’. Meron ako sakit at kailangan kita, dapat alam mo nayan ee, hindi na kailangan ko pa sabihin yan sayo. Sigh.

’ kamu basar sudah inda siuk lagi if kana surprise kan ’ :( mun basar atu tah yang siuk nah. I remembered when I was 9yrs old ( or 10 I think haha ), daddy got home from work, he surprised us with a ticket to Philippines and the flight was on that very night. Even mummy was surprised. GOOD TIMES! Sigh ~ RINDU LOLA AND LOLO AND PAPAS AND MAMAS AND TITAS AND TITOS AND PINSANS. :(

I miss you. I miss you so much. It feels weird staying at home at night. I miss that ”4hours with you” before I go to sleep at home. I miss you so much. :(

SASAK EH CAMANI ANI. BALIK-BALIK JUA CEMANI. KENAPA CAKAP ARAH ORG LAIN, INDA CAKAP ARAH AKU SENDIRI ? SAY IT WAH. PAYAH KA? HAH? KENAPA MARAH KAN ORG LAIN, INDA MARAH KAN AKU? AWU I KNOW LAH YOU WISHED FOR IT, KENAPA LAH AKU INDA MATI SAJA MALAM ATU KAN? ONE MISTAKE SAJA SUSAH SANGAT KA KAN LUPAKAN? WELL ATLEAST WE BOTH AGREED ON ONE THING. YEA I WISHED I DIED THAT NIGHT TOO, YEA I’VE BEEN WISHING FOR IT FOR THE PAST 3YEARS. SANANG SAJA HIDUP MU. SHOULD HAVE AGREED ON MOVING TO PINAS.